God is Good to the Johnsons

My brother has this synonymic phrase for "just joking." He says, "I'm just meme-ing you." Memes started happening about my freshman year of college. At least, the word "meme" started happening then. Humorous pictures paired with words are nothing new--political cartoons are ancient. Today I just wanted to share a few of my favorite memes (even the over-used ones), because while they're cheesy... let's be real... they're hilarious.

So we're in the process of searching for a house, like a house to own. Like a physical property that we'll be paying a mortgage for for way too long. It's a big step. Change of subject that will make sense later: I was never the type to use a dating app. I know lots of beautiful people who have met their soulmate through Tinder or Mutual or Bumble, so I'm not a hater. It just wasn't my style. But I feel like I'm getting the Tinder experience up close and personal right now with buying a home. You see, we find a cute place on Zillow, the price is right, we scroll through some gorgeous pics, and we swipe right (aka set up a showing with our awesome realtor). And then comes the date. The property showing. We stride up to the front door with high, high hopes. Then. Then there's that awful realization, room after room, backyard to barn, that what we're seeing now was awfully doctored up through some psychedelic filters online. The floors are linoleu...

First trip to Build-A-Bear Summer Theater Nosebleeds = Best seats in town Artistic Attempt Hoping My Husband & Children Will Feel This Way All My Life (This quote is by the Grandfather of my friend Laura) Garden Veggies Turned Breafast-for-Dinner An Attempt to Keep Him Warm While Camping Tidying the Church

Outside, outside is better than inside. Outside my thoughts don't clamor around, ricocheting off the walls until they muddle together in smog that blocks the ceiling. Outside, outside where the air is getting crisper like a preview for a weather show, "coming this fall!" (pun intended) . Outside, Outside is better than inside. Outside where labels float away because my ears can't hear the words my eyes see when my pockets feel the vibrations of them. Outside, outside where I walk and walk til my legs forget and my arms forget and my chest forgets the strain and calm kicks in where the air, the sidewalk, the looming peaks above and the magma deep beneath we're all here together the disconnect of devices dissipating and the nearness of nature renewing. Outside, outside is better than inside.

No te he visto hace cuatro años, Argentina. Decir que Te extraño, che... no son palabras adecuadas. Sos un regalo que Dios me dió por catorce meses. Todos mis hermanos, quienes conocí mientras viví allí, Que sepan que tocaron mi alma y jamás les olvidaré. Y no importa cuantos años pasan, siempre seré una hija de Dios, una misionera, una discípula de Cristo. Y siempre soy argentina de corazón.

My husband is a chill guy. I am less than chill at times (many . . . times) and my mind races a million miles a minute about my feelings and the potential feelings of others and what if he thought this and what if I offended with that... it's exhausting. But often the times I should have picked up on saying something that truly offended someone, I don't, and I move on my merry way, and hit someone with hurt, which is a terrible predicament for them and for me. And I wish everyone had a stoplight above their brains that turned red when something I said bugged and green when the conversation was going well and yellow when they were getting bored. I digress. So sometimes, after I say something that could have potentially been taken as a cutting remark to my husband, I'll say, "Are you mad?" And the thing is, he's the furthest from mad (because he's so chill). He's moved on from whatever we were talking about a long time ago. Recently, when ...

If you and I could both decide On just one moment to confide Share our hearts, deny our pride Would our two worlds at last collide? Why our time must we bide? While columnists our lives deride When really if I heard your side Our stories, quite, would coincide.