Kicking the Anger, Choosing Kind

At church today, Katherine & Easton shared their testimonies about the importance of overcoming anger and replacing it with more Godly emotion. The perfect example of thwarting anger and exhibiting love is Jesus Christ. I love Him and I love the forgiveness he freely gave to his disciples, to His captors, to those that crucified Him. I want so badly to love as He loves, forgive as He forgives, and to choose kindness as He does.

I think anger is often exhibited in driving and car accidents, and since Utah Drivers get a bad rep too often, I wanted to highlight some good moments when Utah drivers chose Kindness and kicked their anger.

I was 19 years old, driving my teal-green Chevy Blazer on a May morning to drop my brother off at school before heading to my undergrad job.

(Here's that stunning old car... for nostalgia...)

As we pulled into the offramp of the freeway, a long line of morning traffic cars waited. I braked to a stop and spilled my ice water in the process. As I bent to pick up some of the ice while I waited for the light to turn, I heard my brother start to exclaim "Woah... woah... WOAH... WOAH!" before I heard a THUNK. You might have guessed... as I bent to clean up my spill, I let off the brake, and hit the car in front of me. It was a totally avoidable, really dumb mistake. 

I stumbled out of my car to talk to the other driver, my heart jumping in a panicked rhythm. A young guy in his late 20's, maybe early 30's got out of the vehicle I hit. His expression melted from frustration to concern as he observed my ghastly pallor. "Are you okay?" He asked as he approached me. I responded "yes, are you?" and followed it up with a rush of apologies and an explanation of what had happened. He took a look at his bumper and mine, the damage was quite minimal. We exchanged insurance and phone numbers and then went on our way. Later that day after I'd calmed down, I called him and asked what we needed to work out. Once again, he started the conversation with, "How are you doing? Are you okay?" and continued to say, "I don't want you to worry about it, just go on and pay it forward. When I was 16 I had a similar experience and as I bent down to pick something up, I hit the car in front of me. I gave his car a little dent and felt super bad. But he told me not to worry about it... Don't worry, I'll call you if anything comes up but it looks like everything's fine. Just pay it forward."

His name was Brad Stapley and that moment changed my life. I was a clumsy teenager and he was so kind to me over such an avoidable accident. Other people would have yelled. Other people might've sweared. Other people would have squeezed all the pennies out of me to get a new paint job.
But he asked me if I was okay, he chose kindness, and he asked me to pay it forward, and I'll never forget him for that example. (P.S. if any of you out there on the interwebs know Brad Stapley personally tell him he's awesome and tell him thanks again for me!).

About six weeks ago I was driving our small black Saturn Ion to pick up Charlie after work. Only ten minutes or less after leaving my workplace, while at a stoplight, I was rammed into from behind by a white truck, which slammed my vehicle into the SUV in front of me. All I remember is a loud bang, a shake, and all of the sudden my hair went from a tightly-pinned teacher bun to a cascade of mermaid hair. Trembling, I pulled over to the nearest parking lot and got out to talk to the other drivers. The driver that hit us apologized profusely and asked if both myself and the other driver was okay. I was a little shaky, but said I was alright, and I asked her if she was okay. The third driver involved also asked if we were alright, and explained that she was fine. And then, because it was the first thing that came to my mind, I said, "My name's Mikayla, what's yours? It's nice to meet you!"

I still don't know why that was the first thing that came to mind to say, but I've remembered Brad's example all these years, and I just knew that if I was ever in an accident and I was hit by somebody I wanted to respond like he did. I wanted to choose kindness. I wanted the person to know they were more important to me than a car. What was amazing and beautiful is that the other two drivers in that accident responded in the same way. As we all talked together, it was clear that we were each more concerned with each other's welfare than with cars.

The most striking and Christlike example of kindness in place of anger from an automobile accident is that of the brother in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7zwQ_7q-fU
Short version: while driving with his family one evening, a young drunk driver hit Chris Williams' vehicle, killing two of his children and his expectant wife. I cannot imagine the horror or depth of his pain at losing four members of his dear family. What's beautiful is that this man not only forgave the offending driver, he treated him with kindness and helped him reform and choose a better path. His perspective was truly one of choosing kindness and shunning anger, even while mourning the loss of four of his dearest loves.

I hope I can be like Brad, like Chris, like Jesus. I hope we can all kick our anger and choose kindness.