On Turning Thirty

Hey, Fam. 

For those who don't know, I hit the big three–oh about two weeks back. 

Every adult that's older than me, except for two people, have been telling me that thirty is nothing to worry about. "Wait 'til forty," said my neighbor. "Wait 'til fifty. That's when you realize you might not live to be double your age," said my grandma. "Sixty is when you'll start to feel it, when the gray hairs go crazy" said the lady at Mrs. Cavanaugh's. "Eighty is when you're really, really old," said my grandpa. "You'll feel it." 

Interestingly, "seventy" was left out of the conversation. I wonder what that means. 

Now, I don't want to discount the experiences of all those people. Surely those forty fifty sixty eighty birthdays were pretty tough on them. But I honestly have worried about turning thirty. When I was a kid, I dreamed about all the things I'd do when I was twenty–something. But I never dreamed about being thirty–something, and that kinda freaks me out.

The two people that helped me to not feel like a crazy person about my thirtieth birthday troubles were my Uncle Bubba and my tattoo–covered cashier at Costco. Both individuals are in their late forties/early fifties, and they both told me that thirty hit them with a wave of depressive confusion. Like me, they worried about not having energy anymore. About not feeling "cool" anymore. About being a little bit BLAH. 

True to Mikayla fashion, I've also found some connection to age thirty people through stories. I wanted to share a little of their journeys, and how it reflects the vision I have of my own. 

STORY NUMBER ONE: Jonathan Larson in the 2021 film Tick . . . Tick . . . Boom!

On Valentine's Day, Kevin and I snuggled up to watch this movie. Both my brother, Ty, and my cousin, Casey, recommended this movie to me, so I knew we had to watch it. It's a biographical account of the acclaimed Broadway composer Jonathan Larson, starting long before his success story. At age twenty–nine, Jonathan had dedicated eight years of his life to penning a musical, and despite his diligent attempts at contacting his agent and pitching his musical to Broadway gatekeepers, he hadn't yet met any degree of success. 

As I watched this movie, I had just received my sixteenth rejection email for my novel Jolly Roger. Despite extensive drafting, revisions, applying feedback from beta readers, and doing all I can to make the novel awesome, I haven't received an offer from an agent. Jonathan, I thought. You're my home boy. 

A few stanzas from his song 30/90 particularly hit home: 

"Stop the clock - Take time out
Time to regroup before you lose the bout
Freeze the frame - Back it up
Time to refocus before they wrap it up

Years are getting shorter
Lines on your face are getting longer
Feel like you're treading water
But the riptide's getting stronger
. . . 

They're singing, 'Happy Birthday'
You just wanna lay down and cry
Not just another birthday, it's 30/90"

(Disclaimer: I've only seen this film on Vidangel, so if you watch it, too, I recommend using a filter)

STORY NUMBER TWO: Julie in the 2009 film Julie & Julia

In the middle of her quest to cook all 524 recipes in Julia Child's cookbook, blogger Julie Powell finds herself celebrating her thirtieth birthday with her husband and a few close friends over a dinner she cooks herself. 

There's a lot of reasons I relate to Julie—including but not limited to our love for cooking and the pie–in–the sky goals we set for ourselves—but mostly I love that she celebrated with close family members and friends with an array of scrumptious food. I spent my thirtieth birthday the same way. 

STORY NUMBER THREE: Jesus' Earthly Ministry

The only perfect person to have ever lived on the earth, the man who is my Savior and yours, completed His earthly ministry between the ages of thirty and thirty–three. His miracles, His teachings, His atonement, His death and resurrection—they all happened in his early thirties. 

As I think about Jesus, my greatest hope (and the most intimidating part) of turning thirty is to be like Him. 

Now, I know that without Him, I would be destined to become a devil. Please make no mistake, I know that I am not perfect and despite my best efforts, I will never be perfect in this life. But I want to serve other people like he served them. I want to listen to people around me, comfort them, walk with them, look for ways to alleviate their suffering and offer them thanks when they alleviate mine. My greatest  hope in turning thirty is for my life to reflect, in some small part, the life I find in the four gospels. 

In conclusion: trying to be like Jesus is the best way to handle being thirty. 

Have a blessed day. 

–MJ