Skip to main content

Hallelujah, Anyway!

"Oh my road, oh my road ain't hallelujah, but... Hallelujah anyway!"

This line is from one of Kevin and I's favorite songs, Oh My Road sung by our favorite band Grizzly Goat (check out the song and the band at their website http://grizzlygoatmusic.com/listen/ ). 
And to be honest, HALLELUJAH, ANYWAY! has become our motto these past two months.

A run of bad luck hit us from late April through early June--job loss, a myriad of health issues on both our parts, and getting kicked out of our apartment, to name the biggest challenges--and with each new smattering of bad news, we put dreams on shelves. We keep kicking. We're taking time to make sense of our rearranged future. 

When baloney like this hit us, I was--firstly--angry. There are plenty of places and people on whom to lay the blame, but anger--well, big surprise, it didn't help. My wise and patient husband Kevin helped take me to my knees to ask for God's help to see the big picture. To be honest, the last thing I wanted to do was say "hallelujah!" because wait a second, we're good kids, right? We've done all we can do to be charitable, industrious, honest... so why do the storm clouds come?

We don't have all the big picture yet, but I have felt peace. And best of all my heart and mind, blinded previous, was cleared enough to at least see all the good in our little lives. God and Kevin are helping me to say HALLELUJAH anyway and praise God for all the good in my life, despite all the crap! 

First and most precious of our blessings is our little baby due this November.

We have each other, and we're happy in our marriage. That's pretty special. 

My Grandma Reesa and Papa Phil immediately made space in their basement and in their lives for us to move into while we figure life out.

We're surrounded by family and friends that love us, support us, and sustain us through good times and bad. 

While we're not sure where continued education will take us, we're so privileged to have both completed our bachelor's degrees. 

Now, I just need to take a step back and verbally assure you that I know that IT COULD BE SO MUCH WORSE. I recognize that so many of my loved ones and friends out there are battling life monsters that are deeper and more spiritually and emotionally bruising than what I can even imagine. My heart goes out to you, dear ones. 

I'm learning about forgiveness. I'm (hopefully) learning something about patience. I'm learning to trust God and struggling to let go of my planned-to-the-T life. As long as we do our best to do what he asks... we'll be ok. We'll be happy. I have faith in that. Sometimes, pieces of my life road ain't hallelujah, but Hallelujah, anyway.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Problem with Chick Flicks.

I really, really, really enjoy a select few movies that I willingly watch over and over again. Pride and Prejudice is one of them. You see, Elizabeth's defense of her family, her sense of self respect, her ability to admit that she was wrong and to appreciate Darcy despite all his quirks, and quizzical brow-ness... it's marvelous. My husband doesn't share the sentiment, could you tell? ... and that's okay. There's rare a chick flick I enjoy near as much as I enjoy Pride and Prejudice or A Walk To Remember , and I wanted to explain why. You see, there's more than just a few problems with (many, not all) chick flicks:  (and if you have a chick flick that escapes many of these pitfalls then please oh please leave it's title in the comment section!) The heroine (or suitor) is less than honorable. I have a hard time rooting for a girl to get a gentleman when she's spending her time being scandalously loose with other men ( #thenotebook) . An...
10 comments
Read more

Where's Number Three

A neighbor in her mid-thirties. A woman in her seventies. Their single commonality? They both asked me: Where's number three? I have a son, his name Charlie And then McKay, he's not quite three In my heart, both fit perfectly Yet others ask: Where's number three? Perhaps it's that I miscarried, My spouse's infidelity, The ache of infertility, A battle raging mentally, Illness on a crippling spree, Our family is complete, maybe. The reason's one or more of these, Yet you dare ask: Where's number three? In this question, running free Are judgements, jeering icily "You're not enough, Mik, can't you see? Buck up and give us number three!" I used to flounder, squirm, agree Or curl up small, cry, and plead. With time, I've seen things differently. I won't explain for number three. The questions of maternity Are just between my spouse and me And Parents, guiding Heavenly So please don't ask: Where's number three? Artwork Credit: Be...
4 comments
Read more

A Year and 10 Days Ago

Dear Friends, Family, Acquaintances, and you lovely random passerby of the Blogosphere-- A year and 10 days ago I set out on a journey to write a blog post a day, for two months straight. I did that successfully, and then decided to extend my challenge to a one-year challenge. My report? I wrote 317 blog posts in a 365-day period. And I think that's pretty rad. A few reflections on this experience: Firstly, I started this blog not just because I love writing, but because I needed help. I was suffering from some intense postpartum anxiety, but I didn't know that's what it was at the time. Every moment of every day I felt like I was under severe stress and pressure, even when there were no evident triggers for such. The feeling in my gut on an almost constant basis felt like the queasy stomach, racing heartbeat, and unsettled mind that greeted me before every math test and job interview I've had growing up. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know how...
8 comments
Read more