I'm half a pound away from my goal weight. I've been doing my best to reach a healthy weight for 13 months now, and I'm just point-five away from the goal. I've lost 61.5 lbs. It's exciting and I'm overjoyed with the progress, I haven't been a healthy weight medically since I was a junior in high school, and I've finally made it back.
At the same time... guys, I'm still me. I feel that I'm a better me, a healthier me, a more energetic and less lethargic and more exercise-prone me. But I still love horses, chocolate, cozying up with a good book, playing board games with my family, laughing with my little boy, and dancing in the kitchen with my husband. I look back at the girl 13 months ago (my girl, myself), and when I'm tempted by my demons to detest her or degrade her for her shortcomings, I just can't do it. I just can't. I'm reminded by that still small voice from Heaven that she is a daughter of God and she has always been worthwhile.
So today, everyone, I feel prompted to show forth a lot of vulnerability on my part to tell you this information about my life. It's not something I really like talking about--who likes to admit they've been overweight their entire adult life up until this point? But I'm sharing it because I want you, YOU, whoever you are reading this right now, you are worthy of God's love now and forever. I KNOW THAT. You are his child, and the body he made you is a temple. You are gorgeous. You are glorious. You are his creation and you are to be celebrated and loved. You do not have to have a certain number on the scale or a certain grade on your finals or a certain type of boyfriend or a certain type of car to be loved by him. You will always, ALWAYS, ALWAYS be infinitely and perfectly loved by your Creator. No takebacks. No conditions.
Now, that said, of course you've got goals, dreams, visions for a better you. We all do. God sent us to this life to progress, learn, and grow, follow his commandments, and he wants you and I to pursue our goals, dreams, and visions. We can't just up and say that we're through with progression. He wants the best for us. That's why we set New Year's Resolutions every year, even though we fail at some of them. But, as I often told my 3rd graders, mistakes are for learning. It took me 10 years to figure out (more or less) how to manage my diet and exercise, but all those failures helped me get here, to a better place. I'm not perfect. I binge ate some Skittles on Monday when my toddler finally fell asleep after a long, long day of fever and throwing up. But when I prayed, I felt some comfort from Heaven and courage to try again; and I felt strength Tuesday morning to give balance and exercise another shot.
This journey has been long, and hard, and wonderful, and empowering, and reflective. It has been one battle of many in my life, the same as you. I pray that whatever you are battling, that you will remember through it all that you are loved by God. I pray that you won't hate your past self or present self (or future self?). I pray that you can find confidence in God's opinion and move forward with hope and faith to accomplish what you and He have in mind for you, no matter how long it takes.
<3
At the same time... guys, I'm still me. I feel that I'm a better me, a healthier me, a more energetic and less lethargic and more exercise-prone me. But I still love horses, chocolate, cozying up with a good book, playing board games with my family, laughing with my little boy, and dancing in the kitchen with my husband. I look back at the girl 13 months ago (my girl, myself), and when I'm tempted by my demons to detest her or degrade her for her shortcomings, I just can't do it. I just can't. I'm reminded by that still small voice from Heaven that she is a daughter of God and she has always been worthwhile.
So today, everyone, I feel prompted to show forth a lot of vulnerability on my part to tell you this information about my life. It's not something I really like talking about--who likes to admit they've been overweight their entire adult life up until this point? But I'm sharing it because I want you, YOU, whoever you are reading this right now, you are worthy of God's love now and forever. I KNOW THAT. You are his child, and the body he made you is a temple. You are gorgeous. You are glorious. You are his creation and you are to be celebrated and loved. You do not have to have a certain number on the scale or a certain grade on your finals or a certain type of boyfriend or a certain type of car to be loved by him. You will always, ALWAYS, ALWAYS be infinitely and perfectly loved by your Creator. No takebacks. No conditions.
Now, that said, of course you've got goals, dreams, visions for a better you. We all do. God sent us to this life to progress, learn, and grow, follow his commandments, and he wants you and I to pursue our goals, dreams, and visions. We can't just up and say that we're through with progression. He wants the best for us. That's why we set New Year's Resolutions every year, even though we fail at some of them. But, as I often told my 3rd graders, mistakes are for learning. It took me 10 years to figure out (more or less) how to manage my diet and exercise, but all those failures helped me get here, to a better place. I'm not perfect. I binge ate some Skittles on Monday when my toddler finally fell asleep after a long, long day of fever and throwing up. But when I prayed, I felt some comfort from Heaven and courage to try again; and I felt strength Tuesday morning to give balance and exercise another shot.
This journey has been long, and hard, and wonderful, and empowering, and reflective. It has been one battle of many in my life, the same as you. I pray that whatever you are battling, that you will remember through it all that you are loved by God. I pray that you won't hate your past self or present self (or future self?). I pray that you can find confidence in God's opinion and move forward with hope and faith to accomplish what you and He have in mind for you, no matter how long it takes.
<3
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