I was going through one of my high school writer's notebooks the other day and found this lovely and embarrassing gem. I've always loved Dr. Seuss's book "The Sneetches and Other Stories," and my dad in particular read us the short tale of "What Was I Scared Of" (more affectionately called The Pale Green Pants) often. I'm pretty sure I was going for a modern adaptation. Whether this was an assignment for my creative writing class or my own leisure writing I can't say, but it was enjoyable to reread nonetheless.
"The only thing worse than pale green pants with nobody inside them, is pale green pants WITH SOMEBODY INSIDE THEM. Dr. Seuss was oh too merciful when he wrote his short story concerning the former, but spared us the horror of the latter. I'd thought I'd seen it all attending my high school--yellow spandex, gray woolen turtle necks, bright purple skinny jeans, barred sunglasses... but it was a truly tragic day when he--that careless junior--strode in the main entrance wearing the infamous pale green beasties. Shrieks, screams, and squeals exploded in the commons. The intensity of the terror shattered the lightbulbs, revealing an even more horrific sight--the pale green pants glowed in the dark! For fear, we fled out the doors into the nearest brickle-bush field. We got brickles in our britches, but we stayed there anyway.
"We were quite surprised when that same junior came wandering through our hiding places, looking forlorn. 'I was just trying to make a fashion statement,' he whimpered.
"We accepted his differences and became good friends. He started a new trend..."
"The only thing worse than pale green pants with nobody inside them, is pale green pants WITH SOMEBODY INSIDE THEM. Dr. Seuss was oh too merciful when he wrote his short story concerning the former, but spared us the horror of the latter. I'd thought I'd seen it all attending my high school--yellow spandex, gray woolen turtle necks, bright purple skinny jeans, barred sunglasses... but it was a truly tragic day when he--that careless junior--strode in the main entrance wearing the infamous pale green beasties. Shrieks, screams, and squeals exploded in the commons. The intensity of the terror shattered the lightbulbs, revealing an even more horrific sight--the pale green pants glowed in the dark! For fear, we fled out the doors into the nearest brickle-bush field. We got brickles in our britches, but we stayed there anyway.
"We were quite surprised when that same junior came wandering through our hiding places, looking forlorn. 'I was just trying to make a fashion statement,' he whimpered.
"We accepted his differences and became good friends. He started a new trend..."
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